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19 April 2008

Assassin's Ego

Assassin's Ego is a continuation of Inconspicuous Stranger.

----Assassin's Ego----
The body he lived in felt heavy. He was exhausted to the point that he couldn't open his eyes. It got so bad that he couldn't even control his jaw which happens to be among the easiest body parts to control. The only body function he could consciously control was his breathing. He tried to take in slow breaths to help himself fall asleep. After all, his intention is to get a good night sleep. Still, there was this one thing that bothered his sleep, his conscience.

He couldn't take his mind off the recent assignment. About the silly mistakes he has made, what he could have done better, and etc. To prepare for his next assignment, he had to convince himself that fear will no longer be a factor. Emotions will no longer hinder him. This will the last time he'd allow his guilty conscious to take over him. Within a night, everything felt so different.

Nothing will ever be the same. All of a sudden, everyone had become so ordinary, so plain, so mindless, a mere flesh who does only what is expected, blindly following orders from someone...anyone. Within a night, he lost any respect he had for ALL his fellow friends. Even those whom he once regard as a great man is now another flesh to him. His perception on people who lives in the same planet changed dramatically. He never would have imagined how dumb everyone was. Every social gathering is never the same as before.

Occasionally, he hangs out with his beer buddy just so that he could portrait an ordinary life to the public. Whenever tales of ego begins to flow, he finds it hard to join in the conversation. Everything that they boast about, every masculine action, every bar-fight they described is nothing but nonsense to him. To his beer buddy, it might be the greatest show of power. But to him, it’s something he had to do all the time in his profession.

As his friend boast about the 10 hard punches he delivered to the big buffy bouncer the other day, all that on his mind was on how his buddy could have 'settle' him with a punch to a precise body anatomy. Contained within him is a vast pool of knowledge he can't share to just anyone. And because of that, he finds it hard to contain his ego, the need to boast how capable he is. There were times when he was so tempted to tell someone what ‘real life’ meant for him, but sadly he had to contain all that. Gradually, he finds every boasting that came out from all his beer buddies irritating. To him, those 'show of power' are just as minor as swatting small little cockroaches.

All this while, he thought that ego is among one of those genetic accessory nature installed within him. There was never once he thought badly about it, at least not until he got over his first assignment. At this stage of his life, he realized how ego had become his worst enemy. To be able to continue in his current profession, he had to either hide his own ego or wipe it off. He should be safe so as long as he doesn’t do anything flashy. Failing to do so may cause his soul to be lost the fearful death-reaper. On the other hand, it’s not as easy as it sounds.

There are times when he has this great desire to impress someone be it his best buddy or a hot chick. Every time he was about to brag his profession, there is this conscience whispering, "Only insecure trash see themselves as how others perceive them". One of his hardest moments involves any form of interaction between rich glamorous classy beautiful women. He has tons of cash, but he knew very well that he couldn't flash a big bundle in one go, for he understood the consequences.

As time pass by, he could only categorize people as "useful tools" or "useless trash". He wouldn't make a move if he doesn't have a strong reason to interact with a stranger. Anyone who knows his existence is a potential threat. Social life is something which he doesn't want to be involved in. Without a social life, there will no longer be life within him, no fun, no proud moments. What left of him will be nothing more than a lonely shell occupied by an empty soul. Sometimes he pondered if he even has a soul to begin with. A person who deals with death will eventually become death itself.

This is the harsh life of an assassin.
----Written By 3POINT8----
What do think of the story?

Note: I was experimenting with writing styles. In this article, the last sentence of every paragraph is suppose to be the first line of the next paragraph. What do you think of this style? Does it add suspense to the story?


pinksterz said...

There were times when he was so tempted to tell someone what ‘real life’ meant for him, but sadly he had to contain all that. Gradually, he finds every boasting that came out from all his beer buddies irritating. To him, those 'show of power' are just as minor as swatting small little cockroaches.

i know how that feels. exactly. feel just like shouting at them to shut the fuck up and stop gibbering rubbish. haha!

wah you are a real thinker hor. how much time you spent writing on this?

haih i can't believe i feel sympathy towards assasins now. sigh sigh sigh. misunderstood and underestimated - that would be the words IMO.

Hwei Cheng said...

What happens when assassin found a special creature whom he can share everything with and eventually falls in love with that someone...hmm

maybe that is why...female psychologists are useful? tralalala

Nikkiko said...

woooo. spookeh x.x

- c H i E n - said...

Hey, you have perfectly described the feelings of an assassin. Though I think the title can be changed a little to make it sound more dramatic and more interesting a little.

Well, just my suggestion. Nice story. =)

Cometh said...

Should have superimpose your head on the picture of the Hitman. =p

Might look cool mah. =p

cbenc12 said...

hmm i felt that the assasin is a bit too emo by minding so much the way ppl talk n do all the time. and have so much 'want' to show his ego.
i felt that he should be moe cold and heartless.. couldn't care about what other think..
and have more hatred toward mankind..hehehe..
but i like ur style of writing, describing and use of words..

Jan said...

i like the style that you wrote the whole thing, is nice :)
and preety interesting
keep it up :D

宝茹 said...

I find it a bit too wordy, hard to read. But it's a good start. :)

I like the clear descriptions.

3POINT8 said...

Erm...about 3~4 hours. I guess every scumbag still has a human heart somewhere deep down inside no matter how bad they are.

[Hwei Cheng]
Actually, I'm trying to find someone to talk me out of my obsession for assassins. I know its unhealthy and I need help.

The story is good eh?

Point taken! I'll look into that for my next fiction. Thanks for pointing it our ya!
Say, do you have any idea on how to come up with a more interesting title?

3POINT8 said...

My photoshop skill haven't reach that level yet. But It'll be cool if I can do that.

I want to portray an assassin who is still a human at heart. One who is still struggling to be the ultimate cold-blooded killer. I want to tell the story about the transition of a normal person to an assassin.

Thanks for the compliment jan!

Oh...ok. Guess I went to far with fancy words.
I'll try to keep it simple and short for my next story. Thanks for the critic ya!

Nikkiko said...

it gives me the chills x.x

i guess it'd b nice if you could confide in a gd online friend, that way they wouldn't need to worry if they'd get assasinated? (i think? =X)

-popjammerz- said...

"Only insecure trash see themselves as how others perceive them"
- i like this. true. u came up with it?

By the way the new style is nice, really suspended a bit.
keep up the good work~!

I actually imagine the scene while I'm reading - my usual habit -> i imagine alot -> it makes a story better -> makes me more into it !

waitin for the next ya!

Christopher said...

You really get us going don't you! =)

3POINT8 said...

LOL! This sounds so true. I wouldn't have to worry about you if someone chose to assassinate you. Worse come to worst, I'll just treat them as any other made-up online profile.

The quote I came up myself. But the meaning behind the quote was inspired by a friend.
Thanks for taking an interest in that quote. You make me so happy now. Part of the reason why I wrote this story is because I was amazed by that quote.
Waiting for the next ar? I don't know if I can write a part3. I got no more ideas on this story dy. Why not you suggest a story to me? Or maybe you can provide me with fragments of your life experience and I'll try to make a story about your life. Sounds good to you?

Thanks chris! Its this kind of compliment that I love!

scoobz said...

Interesting insight into an assassin's point of view.. There were quite a few grammatical errors but nothing major enough to mar the story. I'll be looking out for the next part on innit! ^^

Jan said...

Basically i do not think that being obsessed about assassin stuffs are unhealthy, it just depends how you view it... after all everyone is abnormally normal :P

besides that, i think it just depends on how you cope with your obsession.. it doesn mean you gonna go out and kill someone :)