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06 March 2008

Inconspicuous Stranger

Unrelated Stuff: When I saw my subscribers (by feedburner) jumped from 21 to 40, I was ecstatic! As a reward to all my loyal readers, allow me to present a SUPER long post for you guys! Get a cup of green tea, sit down and ENJOY.
This is a dark post meant to be read with a sloowwww pace.

----Inconspicuous Stranger----
FEAR drove him the moment he walked out of the building. He made no delay in starting up his car just as soon as he flung his equipments into back trunk of his seemingly ordinary car. He wanted to get the hell out of the city, to anywhere as far as possible. He had this strong feeling that he should be somewhere else so as long as his presence no longer linger around in the city center. What hindered him then was his shaky hands. He had been driving the same car for two years and yet he felt as if the key he was holding was a key that he had never touched before. It was as though the key had grew slightly in size and a more slippery feel to it than before.

Just as soon as he managed to slot in the key, he tried to calm his mind as he carefully turned it clockwise, clocking up the car engine. He couldn’t help thinking about the mistakes he had done in the building earlier. Just as soon as his mind went to that thought, he made another silly mistake. He forgot to switch on the signal lights as he got out from the roadside. Well, it’s not like that was mistake worth mentioning nor it was a mistake he noticed himself.

Like every other experienced driver, he couldn't recall the roads he used nor the number of traffic lights he passed by. Those details weren’t worth to be registered in his memory, especially after since what happened earlier. By the time he reached Manly Park 80km from where he started off his journey, he could only recall driving through the Brooklyn Bridge at 90km/h with the scenery of a bloody sun setting as it touched the sea far beyond his vision.

It was 7.04pm by the time he got out of the car. That’s about an hour left before total darkness lurks in. Seeing how there was still a slight hint of sunlight at dusk, he made his way to the bench furthest from the playground, one that is being shadowed by trees barely visible to the public. He was relieved to discover that the seat was unoccupied. What more, he could feel the moisture in the air and a slight temperature drop in the atmosphere. Probably that explains why there weren’t many people at the park at that time. Or perhaps it’s the norm of that particular park since it was his first time being there.

For the first five minutes, he wasn’t sure what kind of feeling was dominating over his mind. Was it fear, was it terror, or was it pure paranoia? He was well aware of the number of people who took a glance at him, their body figure and the colour of the shirt they wore. It was the first time he was so attuned to his senses that he couldn’t believe that he had such great attention to such minor details. If he could, he wanted to stare eye to eye to those who took a harmless glance at him. Then again, he figured that wasn’t in the best of his interest since he had to reduce his presence to as little as possible, preferably to the state of an invisible man.

Millions of detailed Information flowed into his mind. The rush was so intense to the point he decided shut his five senses to the world. It was also then when he start to backtrack his memory from the Brooklyn Bridge drive all the to the city center. That was the easy part. The hard part was recalling of what happened in the building. For the longest hour of his life, he couldn't take his mind off the assignment, the people involved, and the possible consequences that awaits him.

No matter how positive he tried to view it, he couldn’t come up with any future events that could benefit him in any way. Other than money, nothing good can come out of it. The more he thought about it, the more his fear grew. That one hour was the worst emotional turmoil he had been in his entire life. What happened in the building earlier was worse than the act of euthanasia he did to his father a month ago.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come up with an explanation to why people around him had to go away. That was then he took his leave and drove to another park only to spend 40 minutes thinking about the same thing over and over again. For the longest night of his life, that cycle repeats for a few more times till dawn. He kept track of the parks he visited but he couldn’t be bothered to count whether it was 10 or 15 parks he had been.

The moment the sun rose, he figured there was no point reminiscing the past. So he made his way back to his crummy little apartment hoping all this will pass just as any other ordinary event in his life. As he silently steps into the room, the first that was on his mind was the void emptiness of nothing. Or rather I should say nothing was on his mind. All he wanted to do is to skip his job for a day and get a good day sleep.

As mysterious as the man himself, details of the assignment should never bring to light for any slight hint of sin is going to be trouble for everyone, especially to the person who owns a small apartment and an ordinary car.
----Written By 3POINT8----

Read part2 here @ Assassin's Ego.

What do you think of the story? Good?

26 comments:

pamsong said...

o_O

*speechless*

chingy said...

Hm;
Did he murder someone?

Lol.

Just A Simple Girl said...

Erhmm...

(-__-)"

Cometh said...

Woh, change to become a story teller?

宝茹 said...

At first I thought the first words at every paragraph mean something. :P

x said...

where's the bed scene? how come no bed scene ?

curryegg said...

OMG....
I love the way you write.. and honestly, you're a good story writer!
Admire your writing skill...

;)

3POINT8 said...

[pamsong]
Hush hush....you don't have to say a word. I know you are feeling good today.

[chingy]
Er... Details of the assignment cannot be released to the public.
But cheer up, I'll be releasing pt2 to this soon

[just a simple girl]
Erm...from your expression, was the ending bad?
Anyway, Do you blog?

[cometh]
I prefer to think of myself changing to a Creative writer. :P

3POINT8 said...

[宝茹]
At 1st it does. Towards the end, I can't continue em anymore. So, i left it hanging somewhere.
I'm glad you noticed that! You have a pretty good attention to details

[x]
The bed scene over dy lor. you missed it! It's in the part while that guy is still in the building

[curryegg]
Wow, a compliment from the humble curryegg. I'm honoured.
Thanks thanks

pamsong said...

Haha. Rriiiggghhhttt.

Chocolates?

*grin*

3POINT8 said...

[pamsong]
If you want, I can bring back some really good chocolates from australia. (I heard what made chocolates so good in australia is the quality of the milk used in it)

Just A Simple Girl said...

3point8,

yes i do blog, but mine wasnt as creative as yours. =P i jus post whatever that comes to my mind...

For your story i was actually expecting an ending that reveals the suspense of what he did earlier on... what is his assignment; who is he; what happened at the building back then... =)

pamsong said...

Ooo, I want!!! What chocs? What kind? And why's the milk different?

curryegg said...

aiyo.... now you sounds more humble than me le..
I am honest with my words..
So, write more for us!
gambate!!!

;)

cindy said...

I was guessing ur readership would be around 70+! Cause I keep seeing ur name popping up around the blogsphere. =P

3POINT8 said...

[Just a simple girl]
oh...ok. Yours must be a very private blog.
I've drafted part2 of the story. You will get the rough idea of whats happening in the story 2 weeks later. (that is if you are still following this blog) :P

[pamsong]
Cows in new zealand produce high quality milk. Take a lucky guess which country is next to NZ?
Besides, Aussies have their own cow farm. They can rival those in NZ.
Yum....Chocolates~~~

[curryegg]
Thank you Kelly! That was very encouraging. I'm drafting part2 to this story. With your encouraging words, I'm sure i can do a better job for part2.

[cindy]
70? more than that....
My daily readership is at 120+ average. And out of that 120, I guess only 20~40 ppl subscribed to my blog. The number is rising every week. Cool eh?
I thank Cindy and all of them for their support!

cindy said...

i just glanced through and saw that u wrote 30-40 and i was quite surprised. haiya getting old, eyesight not that good anymore. haha. my bad!

3POINT8 said...

[cindy]
oh yea.. you are correct. (Yur eyesight is still good) I didn't realize the mistake until u mentioned about it.
I should write "When I saw my SUBSCRIBERS" instead of READERSHIP.
Thanks for correcting me!

pamsong said...

I want! I want!

Dang, I'm hungry now. -_-

-popjammerz- said...

deng...you really can write~~!!!
think u shud start writin fictions~
or open up a blog specially for all ur fics..HAHA~

waitin for part 2 then!

3POINT8 said...

[popjammerz]
Thanks for the encouragement, rue!
Writing fiction stuff is something new to me. I rather be writing sarcastic stuff on daily happenings. Anyway, Part2 to that story is coming in 2 weeks time. Stay tuned ya!

curryegg said...

of course you will... ;)

Lotus Flower said...

A lot of time to build up. But very good writing.

Cheers!

3POINT8 said...

[curryegg][
Alrite! Time to draft part2. Lets see.....How can i add suspense and make the story more mysterious.
Got any idea curryegg??

[lotus flower]
What do u mean by "A lot time to build up"? Could you possibly be referring to the length of the story? Is it too long-winded?
Hope to get feedback from you soon..

cbenc12 said...

i like ur style of writing but i couldnt understand what had happened in the building!
full of suspense..but read until the end also dunno what was de story (=.=)"

3POINT8 said...

[cbenc12]
Haha...part2 coming up part2 coming up.