----The Last Step----
Page1: Edicius Edicius Edicius Edicius...
Her name was Edicius. At age 19, Edicius was my first girlfriend. There is so much to tell about her, so much so that I do not even know where to begin.
Edicius was the shy girl who sat in front of me in psychology class and Edicius has the most beautiful name. When I first lay my eyes on her, she was as normal as any ordinary girls, just a bit shy. I started talking to Edicius after the first major university exam. It was then I got to know her and we actually went out for a couple of months.
She was quite a problematic child back then. Anyone with a sane mind could see that Edicius was the type that doesn't have any real friends. She was a liar and she was obsess with attention. She once told me that she was raped before just before reaching puberty. The truth is - she never was. I guess she wants my sympathy. Then there was this one big fight that changed everything. Oddly, we became real close friends after we broke up. In fact, I was her only friend back then.
A few months down the road, she left the university. She was hated by virtually everyone. Do you remember the one girl back in high school everyone use to refer as bitch, slut, whore? That sort of alias reveal pretty much of her reputation. Till date, I never understood why she would act the way she did. Everyone hated her for it. She couldn't take it so she left.
There were times when I'd be embarrassed to say that I'm was still friend with her. After the big fight, I wasn't embarrassed anymore. Even after she apologized, I didn't care. It was just too late. She got worse too. She left her second university for some hospital. She was reluctant to tell me about it but I could have guess that she had some real issues.
She used to call me from there. Sometimes she would ask me to visit. But I never would. Eventually I stop returning her call and she stop calling.
When you stop caring for someone, its easier to forget about them. I didn't see her again until that April. I was working and she walked in. I ran to the back so she wouldn't see me. I watched her. I was scared. It must have been months since I last saw her. she looked Different. She is taller, Her hair was shorter and I felt that she was bolder. Eventually she walked out and I followed her from behind. She got in the car and left. That was the last time I ever saw her.
I wondered for some time, what it was like when she took that last step of life, maybe even for just a split second. Could she be thinking that she didn't want to leave? It would have been too late anyway. After that first step, it was too late to step back.
Three more hours and I'm still contemplating whether or not to attend her funeral.
38Pages - That is the time it took me to reminisce the past while jotting her name repeatedly on pieces of crumpled paper. Its funny how the first 19pages is a mirror image of the last 19pages. Subconsciously, I wrote her name backwards.
Page 38: Suicide Suicide Suicide Suicide...
----Penned by 3POINT8----
What do you think of my writing style?